Boundaries Are Your Quality Filter
Many of us were raised to be 'nice' (People Pleasers). We think boundaries make us difficult. In reality, boundaries are the instruction manual for how to treat you. Without them, you invite chaos.
1. The Justification Myth
You don't need to explain your 'No'. Justifying gives room for negotiation.
- Wrong: "I can't come because I'm tired and have work..." -> They will try to convince you.
- Right: "I'm not coming tonight." or "I'm not comfortable with that."
'NO' is a complete sentence.
2. The Reaction Test
Setting a boundary filters toxic people instantly. Watch their reaction.
- Healthy Person: "I understand, no problem." (Green Flag).
- Manipulator: "Don't be so rigid!", "After all I did for you?" They get angry or guilt-trip you.
If someone gets mad at your boundary, it means they benefited from your lack of boundaries. Run.
3. Examples
- "I don't answer texts after 10 PM."
- "I don't kiss on the first date."
- "Please don't joke about my weight."
Conclusion
Don't fear losing people by setting boundaries. You will only lose the users. The right people will respect you more.
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