"It's Not You, It's Me... But Actually It's You": How to Spot Emotional Manipulation and Gaslighting

When Your Reality Is Questioned

Have you ever felt, after an argument with your partner, that you are losing your mind? That maybe you did overreact, even though you were initially sure you were right? If so, you might be a victim of Gaslighting.

Gaslighting is an insidious form of emotional abuse. The manipulator's goal is to make you doubt your own memory, perception, and sanity, until you become completely dependent on THEIR version of reality.

1. Classic Manipulator Phrases (Toxic Dictionary)

Manipulators use a predictable script. Watch out for these:

• Denying Reality: "I never said that. You're making things up. You're crazy."
• Minimizing Feelings: "You're too sensitive. Can't you take a joke?"
• Shifting Blame: "If you hadn't annoyed me, I wouldn't have yelled. You provoked me."

2. The Vicious Cycle of Confusion

Gaslighting doesn't happen overnight. It starts subtly. Slowly, you lose trust in your own instinct. You start asking: "Maybe I am the problem?" This is the manipulator's victory.

3. How to Break Free?

1. Document Reality: Keep a journal. Screenshot messages. Proof is for YOU, to remind yourself you aren't crazy.
2. Don't Justify (Grey Rock Method): Don't try to win a logical debate. Manipulators want control, not truth. Be boring and non-reactive.
3. Get an Outside Opinion: Talk to a friend or therapist. Isolation feeds manipulation.

Conclusion

If a relationship makes you feel constantly confused and walking on eggshells, it's not love. It's a power game. Trust your gut. Your reality is valid.